The Gaps in the Generation Gap
The more the TEDxBrighton team set out to explore the concept of the generation gap, the more complex it became. In various coffee-fuelled meetings across Brighton and the area around, we started where everyone does – with the idea of successive generations. Cohorts of people being born, living, marrying, having children in broad groups. This is the classical idea of generations, of a group of people in lockstep through life, united by their time of birth.
This is a concept which seems rooted in the notion that people born around the same time are largely homogenous – or, at least, homogenous enough that they can be defined by a certain set of characteristics. Recent generations have even come with their own name: Baby Boomers, Generation X, the Millennials. I’m solidly in the middle of what’s normally termed “Generation X“. Many of the TEDxBrighton team fall into the same category – but there are those who are of Generation Y - the Millennials – and at least one Boomer, too. In theory, I should have a very different set of values and perspectives. In practice – so far at least – that’s not the case.
Here’s the problem – I’m about to become a father, at the age of 40. My very first child. Many of my theoretical cohort are grandparents; the oldest GenXers are in their early 50s now. I’m having my first child at the same time as their children are doing the same. Somehow, I’ve slipped a generation. This major, life-defining experience that gives me more in common, time wise, with those GenXers’ GenY children.
Our ages do not define our life choices the way they once did. When 60 was a ripe old age, and 40 the clear begging of your old age, there was more pressure to pass through life events earlier. You don’t have to reach far back into the novels of the 19th century to find descriptions of women being viewed as left on the shelf by their early 20s. Generations were, perhaps, easier to define.
Multiple factors have increased our choices since then – availability of contraception, and abortion. Women’s liberation. IVF. The tendency of both partners to carry on working. Or lives are less defined by our birth dates and by socially-acceptable marital norms than they were even 50 years ago. Instead, we’re starting to define our own generational groups through a combination of life choices. Where once generation gaps were purely a better of matter of the natural disparity between people at different places in a broadly similar life journey, now they’re a complex mash of decision, opportunity and time. Before we can even contemplate bridging these gaps, we have to understand them.
Generalisations about attitudes and age are easy. They make compelling hooks for business and pop-psychology books. But the closer you pick at them, the more you examine these broad groupings based on nothing more than birthdate, the more it appears to be a somewhat more scientifically-justified form of astrology. After all – isn’t that another discipline based on attributing aggregate attributes to a cohort of people solely based on birth date?
4 Responses to “The Gaps in the Generation Gap”
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Interesting. My experience is that I feel the generation gap(s) are ever decreasing. There’s a sense (due to the age we’re living through) that my generation is younger in spirit than our parents ever were, when they, and we, were similar ages. I’m in my late 40′s now with three teenage children and feel that I can connect with them in an authentic connected father- son, daughter way, allowing us all to be in healthy relationship without a strong sense of ‘huge’ age-gaps (even though my kids would say I’m old I’m sure 
In fact, I really don’t feel the age I am even though I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. In the other direction, I’m aware that my maturity has developed a deeper respect for our elders who are possibly the last of a particular generation who we can connect with too.
I would question the very idea of ‘generation’ now – not from an age point-of-view, but from a human place and how we connect as people and communities – whether through family, particular peer/social groups, where we live and/or work or what we each, and who, we resonate with. I like the idea of cross-generational (non-generational) practice.
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Interesting comment Richard.
I’ve found that it depends on where you’re looking for ‘The Generation Gap’. As a “Millenial” with a Gen-X Mum (and a Baby Boomer Dad) – I would agree that there is a much more equal relationship and exchange within family units – as opposed to the hierarchical relationship my Dad had with his parents.
However, I find there are still generation gaps in some workplaces: where businesses are acclimatised to hierarchical structures based on quantity of time spent in the field. Relevant if you’re a physicist… but not so relevant if you are in digital tech (think of the amount of >20 wizz kids). Often having people come together across a range of experience levels is beneficial for everyone involved – yet our recruiting often fails to reflect this.
Very much enjoyed your last statement regarding generations being based on “who we resonate with”. Like.
Successful ageing is about disregarding your age whatever it is. Therefore the generation gap need not exist.
There will always be an experience gap as one population cohort lives events that will be history for the following generation. But there is no reason why there cannot be a meeting of minds between two people that has nothing to do with culture, lived history or music choices.
If you are lucky you will live to be ‘old’ in chronological terms which has nothing to do with generations. Ask anyone under 30 what they think of David Bowie – he is admired because of his talent, his music, his fashion. At 65 he is just the coolest man around.
[...] story to tell it – and that’s been the case for me over the last month. As I mentioned in my last post, I was an expectant father. I am expectant no longer – and have a beautiful baby daughter, [...]
Interesting. My experience is that I feel the generation gap(s) are ever decreasing. There’s a sense (due to the age we’re living through) that my generation is younger in spirit than our parents ever were, when they, and we, were similar ages. I’m in my late 40′s now with three teenage children and feel that I can connect with them in an authentic connected father- son, daughter way, allowing us all to be in healthy relationship without a strong sense of ‘huge’ age-gaps (even though my kids would say I’m old I’m sure
In fact, I really don’t feel the age I am even though I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel. In the other direction, I’m aware that my maturity has developed a deeper respect for our elders who are possibly the last of a particular generation who we can connect with too.
I would question the very idea of ‘generation’ now – not from an age point-of-view, but from a human place and how we connect as people and communities – whether through family, particular peer/social groups, where we live and/or work or what we each, and who, we resonate with. I like the idea of cross-generational (non-generational) practice.
Interesting comment Richard.
I’ve found that it depends on where you’re looking for ‘The Generation Gap’. As a “Millenial” with a Gen-X Mum (and a Baby Boomer Dad) – I would agree that there is a much more equal relationship and exchange within family units – as opposed to the hierarchical relationship my Dad had with his parents.
However, I find there are still generation gaps in some workplaces: where businesses are acclimatised to hierarchical structures based on quantity of time spent in the field. Relevant if you’re a physicist… but not so relevant if you are in digital tech (think of the amount of >20 wizz kids). Often having people come together across a range of experience levels is beneficial for everyone involved – yet our recruiting often fails to reflect this.
Very much enjoyed your last statement regarding generations being based on “who we resonate with”. Like.
Successful ageing is about disregarding your age whatever it is. Therefore the generation gap need not exist.
There will always be an experience gap as one population cohort lives events that will be history for the following generation. But there is no reason why there cannot be a meeting of minds between two people that has nothing to do with culture, lived history or music choices.
If you are lucky you will live to be ‘old’ in chronological terms which has nothing to do with generations. Ask anyone under 30 what they think of David Bowie – he is admired because of his talent, his music, his fashion. At 65 he is just the coolest man around.
[...] story to tell it – and that’s been the case for me over the last month. As I mentioned in my last post, I was an expectant father. I am expectant no longer – and have a beautiful baby daughter, [...]